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thoughts about cruising for the first time if you identify as queer, lgbtq, or gay

There's a lot of things that people misunderstand about cruising and some of them aren't entirely untrue. For instance, the concept of taking a cruise can feel unwelcoming if you're not white or straight. This is true in large part because of the industry's heritage as something evolving from expensive steamship travel that was only available to wealthy white families. While the modern cruise industry is distinctly different today, many racially diverse and LGBTQ+ travelers still worry about discrimination on ships.

 

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I recently got asked this question by a prospective client and so I wanted to share my thoughts publicly as well.

As a travel advisor I hear this concern regularly from first-time cruisers and it is echoed even by experienced cruisers who sometimes are surprised that outdated terms like "Friends of Dorothy" are used to denote LGBT meetups for instance and that these events are sometimes hidden instead of for instance posting a pride flag or allowing other signs from the crew to express that they are allies.

Despite this, cruise lines are working to be more inclusive and things are changing rapidly with all of the major cruise lines in terms of training, hiring policies, and even marketing practices to feature more gay, lesbian, and non-binary guests in their ads and social media posts. This same goes for racial and ethnic diversity as well. In my opinion, Virgin Voyages is the undisputed leader, while Holland America and Royal Caribbean / Celebrity Cruises follow with regards to LGBTQ+-friendly policies as well as attracting guests who may be more open to cruising with guests who aren't white and straight.

Celebrity even hosts a "Pride Month At Sea" event each June.

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A Reader's Experience on Holland America Cruise As An Example

Our readers aren't the only potential cruisers who are asking these questions. For instance, on a cruise forum that I read, a queer, non-white traveler shared their experience on a Holland America cruise. They felt uneasy about potential misgendering and wondered if the cruise line would be welcoming to diverse guests.

Overall, the cruise community members that responded, confirmed what Heather and I already know - as long as you aren't disruptive to other cruise passengers or do things that are unsafe, most LGBTQ+ passengers will be just fine.

In some ways there might be a bit of a paradox when you consider Holland America Line though. For instance, it has a legacy perception as being the home of "newly wed and nearly dead" but I see passengers dressed in various ways that they are clearly "not typical" and yet they are embraced by crew and guests alike.

This seems to be more true on lines that offer an elevated experience attracting a more socially progressive, highly educated, audience than on some of the more budget-focused family cruise lines.

With that being said, many of the same challenges that queer passengers face on land may also be present at sea, such as inadvertent misgenderings and perceived microagressions. This is especially true off the ship in places like Mexico, Caribbean, Africa, Middle East where society is simply different compared to what we consider normal behavior in the United States and Canada.

This is one reason why we feel that for queer, non-binary, and LGBTQ+ guests that are considering their first cruise, sailing out of a port like San Francisco, Seattle, Los Angles, or San Diego on a California Coastal or Alaska Cruise is a great way to try something new. Vancouver is also a fantastic option for LGBTQ cruisers looking to extend their cruise experience by a few days.

Queer And Non-White Cruise Experiences

That forum did express that cruises can sometimes present unique challenges for queer and non-white travelers. Many perceive microaggressions, misgendering, and discrimination from fellow passengers or crew and LGBTQ+ individuals may feel unsafe expressing their identities openly in certain ports of call.

Non-white guests sometimes encounter racial stereotyping or exclusion from activities but this is rare in modern cruising and almost never done as cruise line policy. However, just as some folks might feel an extra level of scrutiny when they enter a store, there can be a similar feeling when visiting shops on the ship as well as in port.

However, cruise lines like Holland America have made efforts to improve inclusivity and Virgin Voyages has built their entire cruise experience around inclusivity. They've introduced LGBTQ+ meetups, diversity training for staff, and partnerships with organizations like PFLAG. Virgin Voyages even featured a drag queen in their marketing materials and has gender-neuetral bathrooms!

Still, the onboard experience varies widely. Queer and non-white guests report mixed results - from feeling fully welcomed to enduring persistent discomfort throughout their voyage.

Concerns About Potential Misgendering

Potential misgendering remains a valid concern for non-binary and transgender travelers on cruises. Cruise staff may unintentionally use incorrect pronouns or titles, causing discomfort or distress. This issue can be particularly acute in formal dining settings or during onboard activities.

This is a general travel issue though. While the United States allowed for gender identity other than Male / Female on their passports in 2022, Mexico did in 2023, and Canada did so in 2017, this is something that is not true for other countries that you may visit on a cruise.

Wearing pronoun pins or badges for guests who are concerned about this can be a good idea and Disney has even endorsed this as an idea to help guests receive a magical experience regardless of how they identify.

That said, some conservative guests may react negatively—and this is true whether you are at Starbucks or Burger King back home. Several major cruise companies have also implemented training programs for crew members on gender identity and respectful communication.

Despite these efforts, guests should be prepared to politely correct any misgendering incidents and may want to inform key staff members of their preferred pronouns upon boarding. This is something a travel advisor who is experienced in helping guests with these concerns prepare for ahead of time, including tips and advice to make boarding as well as the customs process as smooth as possible.

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The Cruise Industry Is Incredibly Inclusive

Despite these concerns - most of which are shared by all forms of international vacation travel, the cruise industry embraces all guests. They offer diverse options for every traveler, from LGBTQ+ gatherings to cultural celebrations and group cruises for a wide variety of communities.

Special Group Cruises

The cruise industry caters to diverse groups with specialized voyages that are designed entirely to cater to a specific group. Here's a list of unique cruise experiences that you can find at sea:

  • Gay Cruises: RSVP Vacations and Atlantis Events organize LGBTQ+ focused trips on major lines like Celebrity Cruises.
  • Swingers Cruises: Adult-only voyages for couples interested in open relationships, often on smaller luxury ships.
  • Nudist Cruises: Clothing-optional sailings, popular in the Caribbean, emphasize body positivity and freedom.
  • Black Heritage Cruises: Celebrate African American culture with themed entertainment, speakers, and excursions.
  • Pride Parties at Sea: Many mainstream lines host LGBTQ+ meetups and events during regular sailings.
  • Themed Voyages: Music, culinary, or hobby-focused cruises attract like-minded travelers.

Special group cruises offer a safe space for self-expression and community building. Next, we'll explore concerns queer individuals might have when visiting different ports.

Freedom To Be Who You Are Away From Friends And Family Back Home

Cruises offer a unique escape from everyday life. Away from familiar faces, passengers can express themselves freely. LGBTQ+ travelers often find solace on ships, embracing their identities without judgment. This was especially true 20 years ago when we first began cruising. Social acceptance has changed a lot in North America since then but taking a cruise is still a popular way for folks who might not feel comfortable being "out" to take those first public steps and embrace their true identity.

Many cruise lines host Pride events, creating safe spaces for queer guests.

Holland America Line and other major cruise companies actively welcome diverse passengers. They organize meetups for various groups, fostering connections among like-minded individuals.

This inclusive atmosphere allows travelers to explore new facets of their personalities, far from home's constraints.

Onboard Meetups For Different Groups Of People

Cruise ships offer diverse meetups for various groups. These gatherings cater to different interests, backgrounds, and identities. This opportunity to socialize and meet people like you isn't limited only to gender identity, sexual orientation, or racial heritage.

  • LGBTQ+ Mixers: Pride parties and rainbow-themed events create safe spaces for queer travelers
  • Solo Traveler Gatherings: Singles mingle at cocktail hours and group activities
  • Cultural Heritage Meetups: Events celebrate specific ethnicities, like Black cruisers' socials
  • Special Interest Groups: Book clubs, craft circles, and sports fan meetups bring like-minded guests together
  • Age-Specific Activities: Teen clubs, millennial mixers, and senior socials target different generations
  • Professional Networking: Business travelers connect at industry-focused events
  • Fitness Enthusiasts: Yoga classes, running clubs, and gym buddy meetups for active cruisers
  • Foodies and Wine Lovers: Culinary demonstrations and wine tastings unite gastronomy fans
  • Music Lovers: Concerts, karaoke nights, and dance parties for various musical tastes
  • Adventure Seekers: Excursion planning meetings for thrill-seeking passengers

Special Concerns Queer Individuals Might Have When Traveling To Different Ports

As I conclude this article, I think it is important to reiterate and acknowledge that queer travelers may face unique challenges at different ports. Some countries criminalize same-sex relationships or have hostile attitudes towards LGBTQ+ individuals. This is why it is essential to research local laws and cultural norms before disembarking. Your travel advisor can help you with this process but you should also familiarize yourself.

You may also want to talk with guest services once you get on the cruise ship as well as talk with the shore excursions manager. You've probably heard this before but - don't worry, you aren't alone! On a ship with thousands of passengers, you are almost certainly not the only person who has asked a question about this.

The cruise lines want you to stay safe and have a great time. That's literally their job!


Thanks for reading. We hope this was helpful!

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Heather Hills

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Heather is a travel writer and travel advisor

If you are interested in discussing a potential cruise idea or are ready to book, give her a call: 630-779-9301 or fill out this form and she will get back to you ASAP.